As I moved into my new home in Bangkok back in 2022, I had no intention of falling in love again. That all changed within few weeks of moving in when I would hear constant howling in the night and fights that could qualify for a Gladiator movie remake.

My father never got to see me grow old.
He didn’t see my silver strands or didn’t get to eat the delicious food that I cook now.

I am crawling out of the mud
Hoping to tumble onto a lotus
A bit of rain

206 bones, 600 muscles, 78 organs and one incredible life were neatly packed in a shiny copper jar. It was sealed so tight that there was no possibility for any leftover dreams or regrets to escape. 62 years of an incredible life were turned into a pile of ashes right in front of my eyes.

How does one become fat?
Have you ever asked that?
Have you ever wondered?
What makes fat cells love some souls more than the others?

People praise my cooking. 
My husband loves it. 
Friends go ga ga over it. 
My mom takes great pride in telling everyone that I am an accomplished cook.

And we moved houses again.
One more time.
Packed up years of baggage, dreams, unspoken words and boxes full of spices that always remind me of what a home used to be in a country where I grew up.