My Father

October 2024

My father never got to see me grow old.

He didn’t see my silver strands or didn’t get to eat the delicious food that I

cook now.

Instead, he remains framed in my memory as someone who once loved me

unconditionally.

He lingers in the background when I think of him on birthdays and holidays.

He lives in that space that is suspended between reality and dream.

Suspended between past, present and future.

He lives there.

I live my life.

I work. I drive. I cook. I eat. I move countries. I read. I travel. I adopt cats.

I am in a happy place.

I think of him less when I am busy.

He remains in the background like a faded print of a curtain that you tend to

forget but if you squint your eyes, you can see the print clearly.

Life does that you.

Robs you of people you love.

Teaches you to live without them.

Teaches you to move on.

Teaches you to forget your past so you stop hurting.

And yet on some days you wonder what life would have been if that person

was still alive.My father was flawed, loving, and compassionate. Now I see him as an adult.

Not as my father. I see his journey differently than how I used to see.

I have come to accept that parents do their best. Sometimes they get it right.

Sometimes they don’t. Just like me. They are flawed and human.

But one thing he always got right; was to love 3 women in his life.

He was the love of my mother’s life.

And he was and will always be my first love.

27 years have passed.

But it seems like yesterday.

Love never transcends.

It remains.